Damsel in Distress?
So what inspired this post was something a friend of mine posted on Instagram lately, and it was a quote from the immensely popular TV show, Sex in the City. It went something like this:
“inside every confident, driven, single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved?”
Now when I first approached the quote, it was sans question mark, which from the start bothered me. After further research I discovered that the character Carrie Bradshaw is posting this as a question, which detracts it from being a statement, but still bothers me at the fact that this is something that we as women still question and debate. But then I begin to think back to myself at a younger age when I thought what would make me happy and would save me from my own insecurities would be a guy to take care of me.
And since then do you know what I learned? Guys are JUST as screwed up as us ladies. They are just as insecure and have their own issues to deal with, so since when did it become their sole responsibility to save a girl? Girls are so often reminded that it’s not our job to fix a guy, so we should stay away from troubled or so called “bad boys,” that people can’t change and we cannot fix a boy, and yet we turn around and expect some poor boy to come in and be our knight in shinning armor. I’m not even getting to the part where as a woman you shouldn’t need to rely on anyone to be happy, because that’s been said time and time again and I don’t even believe that. We as humans cannot fix ourselves, but that goes to say that other people can’t either
So where does that leave us? Well as a Christian of 14 years, I’d say it leaves us with Jesus; the actual Knight in Shinning Armor to come and save us. Or if your not a believer, then probably therapy, with someone trained for your kind of issues. Going back to what I was talking about a few weeks ago about pain, this is where the fixing it and feeling better comes in. Here’s the bottom line: No guy, or girl will fix you, no one can save you from your own pain and suffering other than the Man upstairs. Thats why God sent his only son, to save us from sin, including our breakups, insecurities, daddy issues and all the other problems that has screwed us up.
So to answer you Carrie, no, there is no guy out there that can save us. Now maybe it sounds a little sad, but what that leaves us is the hope of finding a relationship with someone who will stand beside you, and support you as you face the storm that is humanity. You will have someone to pray with and remind to to fully rely on God, to share the fact that they’re broken too. Neither partner is caring for the other more, because you’re both broken. Doesn’t mean you don’t find a guy or girl that doesn’t care about you and takes care of you, they should definitely treat you right, but they are your partner, not the fix it man. Not only does this take the impossible expectation off your partner, but you aren’t left disappointed with someone who you thought could fix you but can’t. You wouldn’t take your Iphone into a mechanic if it’s broken, they would probably be stuck with no idea how to repair the phone and you left disappointed, so don’t leave your problems in the hands of someone who has just as many as you do, they don’t know how to fix it (despite how hard they will try.)
Besides, God didn’t make woman to fix man’s problems, and vice versa. Woman was made to be Man’s helper, so the two can become one flesh, united under marriage. Not one person taking care of the other, but equals under the eyes of God.
So ladies, be kind to your fellow man and don’t expect him to come save you from whatever insecurities or problems you may have plaguing you. Rather look for a partner in crime, someone to experience life by your side, to support you in your troubles and push you to turn to God.